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Subject: maybe

we should apply together to be his new friends.

like. a group rate.

like: "with one simple email, you get TWO (2) new friends! tim, with his quiet wit and easy-going nature, will be your man on the street! want someone to come over and eat pizza and listen to records and then go see a movie? that's tim! joanna, with her punchy sense of humor and girl-without-being-girly appeal, will be your witty female friend who doesn't want to sleep with you! want someone to call for sympathy when some dumb girl doesn't appreciate how awesome you are? no-strings snuggling while watching videos? that's joanna! as a pair, they offer companionship for: DRINKING BEER! SEEING INDIE ROCK SHOWS! GOING TO PARTIES! MAKING FUN OF YOU! they are the ideal friends! get 'em while they last!"

something like that.

this approach clearly isn't working.